If it wasn't so bloody sickening it might be funny: The daily parade of swell-dressed rogues and dirty, rotten scoundrels who stole astronomical sums of Canadian taxpayers' money as rewards for their sleazy roles in The $ponsorship $candal, otherwise known as Jean Chretien's Federalist War on Quebec Separatism.

How Mr. Justice John Gomery, who heads the inquiry, manages to control his frustrations over the tsunami of witness memory lapses sure beats me. But it's their bold-faced bullshit-baffles-brains attitudes that gall the most. They brazenly act as if theft, fraud, larceny and collusion are cornerstones of business ethics in Quebec.

Now, in case you've just beamed down from another part of the cosmos, here's why the almost unflappable Mr. Justice Gomery is front and centre in this political shitstorm:

Back when Quebec was readying for its sovereignty referendum, Jean Chretien was Prime Minister and Paul Martin was Finance Minister. They were the heavy hitters. However, they claim complete ignorance of the fact Liberal Government officials and a slimy assortment of party bagmen, influence peddlars and backroom boys channeled lucrative Public Works contracts to a handful of influential Quebec ad agencies in order to subliminally "wave the Canadian flag" throughout Quebec.

In other words, Ottawa's cunning plan was to blanket, deluge, wallpaper La Belle P with federal government-sponsored, federal government-centred ads and signs aimed, not-too-subtly, at reminding Quebeckers what side their baguettes are buttered on.

In turn, some of these greedy ad agency bastards did sweet-screw-all work. But they submitted phony invoices and pocketed millions, minus a few million here and there in kickbacks to those same "influence peddlars", not to mention a few hundred grand here, a few hundred grand there in donations to The Liberal Party of Canada, The Party Quebecois, and possibly even the separatist Bloc Quebecois.

Crafty bastards, yuz guys, eh Jean?

Meanwhile, the Gomery Inquiry grinds slowly ever onward, Liberal Party and Liberal Government popularity is sinking faster than a Canadian submarine, and the entire nation is embroiled in a bitter, see-saw argument over should-we-or-shouldn't-we throw the bastards out now, or hold off until Gomery concludes and the Truth, the Whole Truth and nothing but The Bullshit-free Truth finally emerges.